


Detective Lucifer

by GlitterSkullFairy



Series: Prompts for Smiles [6]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bodyswap, Case fic (sort of), F/M, Fluff and Crack, It's fun to be the Devil, Lucifer Feels, Lucifer needs to use Evidence Gloves, LuciferLockDown, Minor Sexual References, Post-Season/Series 04, PromptSmiles, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:48:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25340377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlitterSkullFairy/pseuds/GlitterSkullFairy
Summary: For a second she was disoriented.  She hadn't moved, but her perspective seemed to have changed- the drawer was lower than it was, and she had somehow shifted to the right.  She moved a hand to the counter to steady herself, but it wasn't her hand that moved- she was staring at a familiar silver and black ring.  She wiggled her fingers experimentally.  They not only looked wrong, they felt wrong too.  She could taste the lingering flavour of cigarettes on her tongue.  Her whole body felt different, and her clothes were… so soft against her skin.  She could see she was wearing Lucifer's suit.  She hadn't expected it to feel so good.  Must be the benefits of expensive tailoring.With a strong sense of trepidation, she turned to her left, to see her own face was staring back at her...In which Lucifer and Chloe swap bodies in the midst of trying to negotiate their new relationship.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Prompts for Smiles [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831924
Comments: 86
Kudos: 287
Collections: Prompts for Smiles





	1. Let's Contaminate Some Evidence

**Author's Note:**

> Part of NotOneLine's Prompts for Smiles project which you can find here:  
> https://twitter.com/NotOneLineFF/status/1241071297930690563
> 
> From the prompt "Omg Lucifer and Chloe swapping bodies lmao" by @nic10015  
> Because why not?

They were taking it slow.

Chloe had been going out of her mind with worry while he was away, and had turned to Maze for answers. She had given them- reluctantly- and Chloe wished for a while that she hadn't asked. But now he was here again, she was glad she knew. It made it easier to support him, knowing how much longer it had been for him, and to be patient with the way he'd changed.

Lucifer was definitely not all rainbows and puppies. Not that he ever was. But he wasn't all sex parties and snorting evidence, either. It should have been a good thing, but something about him was too quiet. At first, she just gave him space, just let him know she was there if he needed to talk. When he remained silent, she tried pressing him for more specific answers. Lucifer consistently changed the subject. She saw the haunted look in his eyes and stopped asking.

And it was scary for her too. Every time she'd got close to him before, something had gone wrong. A part of her thought they might be cursed. Literally. Because that was a thing his Dad could do, right?

Every time they kissed she was worried it would make him disappear. 

So they went on a few slightly awkward dates, and made out like teenagers in the convertible, and then one of them would find an excuse and they'd go their separate ways for the night.

She didn't give up though. She knew how much it hurt to lose him and she was damned if she was going to let anything short of an actual apocalypse get in between them this time. 

She might be damned already. 

She kept dreaming about his love handles.

She complained about it on Tribe night, and Linda just looked her in the eye and said, "Be patient. Good things come to those who wait."

So she waited, and bought a stack of new batteries, and focussed on work.

Because at work, they were really thriving.

It was safe, it was comfortable, it was how they knew to act with each other. It was like dancing, the way they sparked ideas off each other, the way they traded banter just like the old days. And if the bad guys cowered a little bit more under Lucifer's gaze, if he licked his lips and relished that moment of victory when they confessed, that was all fine. He had been much more Devil, down there, and it might take some time to adapt back to earth. 

And so, after almost a month of dancing round each other, she decided she just needed to bite the bullet and tell him. Tell him that she loved him and that whatever he was dealing with, she could handle it, and she still wanted to be with him more than ever, and she would wait as long it takes.

And then, of course, a new case dropped in her lap.

She picked him up and they drove in near silence to the scene, a small apartment, well kept apart from the evidence of a fight and the corpse in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor. They had a look around while Ella examined the body. 

"Well, no doubt about it, this guy put up a fight. Killer got him in the end though, diced up his internal organs and then left him to bleed out. He called 911 but he was dead by the time the paramedics got here. They had to go on to another emergency, but they're gonna stop by the station later to give me more details. Got a phone number too, you know, in case they forget. He seemed nice."

"The victim?" Chloe asked.

"No, Geoff, the paramedic. Pretty eyes."

"What about the victim?"

"A little glassy, kinda bloodshot. Maybe not getting enough sleep."

"I think the Detective was hoping for more information relating to the case," Lucifer pointed out. 

"Oh, right. ID says Joshua Irving, lives at this address. Looks mostly like a home invasion, except, I dunno. Doesn't look like the kind of place you'd target if you were looking to steal anything of value."

"Unless he's got a stash of drugs hidden somewhere," Lucifer said, and began opening drawers and cupboards. 

"Lucifer, gloves!" Chloe said.

Ella took a couple out of her kit and threw them at him.

"You realise your hands are much tinier than mine," he moaned, and used one to pinch the handle on the next drawer. He paused, staring inside. "Hello. Aren't you a handsome fellow?"

"Found something?" Chloe walked over, and saw a weird statue lying in the drawer amongst a handful of cutlery. It was some kind of silvery metal, about eight inches long, in the form of a curly-haired man. He had a beard and a strong figure, and was wrapped in some kind of toga. 

Before she could stop him, Lucifer had reached out to touch it with his bare hand. She sighed. "Lucifer wait, you'll contaminate the evidence."

She tried to pick it up with the same glove pinch technique, but the glove caught on a stray fork and slipped and her finger brushed against the stone figure.

For a second she was disoriented. She hadn't moved, but her perspective seemed to have changed- the drawer was lower than it was, and she had somehow shifted to the right. She moved a hand to the counter to steady herself, but it wasn't her hand that moved- she was staring at a familiar silver and black ring. She wiggled her fingers experimentally. They not only looked wrong, they felt wrong too. She could taste the lingering flavour of cigarettes on her tongue. Her whole body felt different, and her clothes were… so soft against her skin. She could see she was wearing Lucifer's suit. She hadn't expected it to feel so good. Must be the benefits of expensive tailoring. 

With a strong sense of trepidation, she turned to her left, to see her own face was staring back at her.

She didn't know how it had happened, but if angels and demons were real, then obviously she might have to re-evaluate her stance on magic too. "Right," she said carefully, hearing Lucifer's voice in her ears. That was unnerving. "Detective." The word sounded like it usually did in his mouth, without being affected by her accent. Perhaps it was tied in with muscle memory, not something she could consciously control. Which she was glad about, because if she had to fake his accent she'd be spotted straight away. "Perhaps we should get this bagged up. We wouldn't want anyone else to accidentally touch and further contaminate the evidence."

"Yes," her body said, and it was weird hearing her voice through someone else's ears. She fervently hoped that was Lucifer and he'd picked up the hint to play along. He tugged at her jacket sleeves primly, the exact way he always adjusted his cuffs when he was nervous, looking at her as he did so. So he was looking for a sign too. 

She rolled her eyes, and he smiled. "Mi- Ella, could you pass me a bag?"

"You guys okay? You look a little spaced," Ella said as she handed it over.

"Yes, perhaps you should step away Detective," Chloe suggested, "clearly being so close to my magnificent self is adversely affecting you."

Now Lucifer rolled his eyes. Is that what that looked like? She must stop doing that. "Just let me do my job," he said, and put the glove on properly this time before he sealed the statue in a bag. When he picked it up she saw it was mostly flat on the back, almost like a bookend except for a long ridge that ran all the way down from its head to its feet.

"Why are we bagging a freaky statue?" Ella asked.

"Because it looks like someone hid it in the drawer," Lucifer explained. "And that doesn't make sense, so it might be some kind of clue. Not sure what it means, but you never can be too careful. Right Lucifer?"

"Indeed," she answered. It should have been harder to sound like him, but she'd spent so long imagining his voice in her head while he was gone, the words came fairly naturally. "It is certainly peculiar." Okay. She might be overdoing it a tad. They needed to get out of here fast, so they could talk freely.

"So, unless Lucifer wants to keep looking for drugs, that means we leave the forensic team to do their thing, and we go round up Dan and start looking to see what else we can dig up about Joshua- work, associates, family and any reason that someone might want him dead."

Wow, he was good. It was uncanny, seeing herself and hearing herself and knowing he was in there.

"Oh goodie, the boring research part of the investigation," she said lightly. "Still, I suppose if I help, we'll have a suspect to interrogate sooner."

"Yes. Ella do you mind if we take the statue with us? Just to see if we can find anything interesting."

"Sure, why not. Just let me take a couple of shots and tag it first." She kept glancing at them as she did so. At last she handed the thing over. "Look, it's okay. I know you guys are still working a lot of stuff out. If you just need an excuse to go talk or make out or whatever that's cool, I can cover for you. Just pick up when I call you with a lead we can use, okay?"

"That's not actually-" Lucifer began, but Chloe cut him off.

"That's very understanding of you, Miss Lopez, generous as ever. Shall we Detective?"

"Whatever."

They walked back to find their cars and Chloe put her hand in her pocket for her keys before she realised. "You've got my keys."

He grinned and jangled them in the air as he walked to the driver's side of the car.

"Why do you look so pleased with yourself? We need to fix this."

"Eventually, yes. But aren't you curious?"

"What do you mean?" 

They both sat in the car and he looked up at her through his eyelashes- her eyelashes. Her eyes. He was flirting with her, while in her body, and it was… well, weird didn't cover it.

"You have the chance to spend some time in someone else's body. Mine, no less. Don't you want to explore it a little? Take it for a test drive?"

She frowned. "Wait, are you thinking about sex?"

"I'm always thinking about sex, you know that."

"Well, if the last few weeks are anything to go by, thinking and doing are not the same thing."

He turned back to the steering wheel, and exhaled. His expression made her regret the bluntness of her words.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to put pressure on you. I know it's a big deal, and I can be patient if you need more time."

"I do want to be with you," he said quietly. "Very much. It's just… I want to be ready. I want it to be as special as you deserve it to be."

"It will be," she laid a hand on his arm to reassure him, and the weirdness skyrocketed. "Because it's us. I love you, Lucifer. But I know you're still going through stuff and I can handle all that. And I'll be waiting, for whenever you're ready, as long as it takes." She picked up the statue from his lap. "But you're not going to get there by hiding out in my body. Now can we please switch back so I can kiss you without freaking out?"

"How do you propose we do that?"

"Well we switched when we touched this thing together, so," she pulled back the plastic bag. "Let's contaminate some evidence."

They both pressed a finger to the top of the statue, but nothing happened. They tried holding it a bit more firmly, but still nothing.

"Because of course it wouldn't be that simple," she muttered, and wrapped it back up.

"Hold on," Lucifer said, pushing at the bag to get a clearer view of the statue's face. "He looks familiar. And this-" he ran a finger down the ridge at the back. "What if this is half of a pair?"

"So somewhere there's someone with the back half of a statue? Might look a bit odd on the mantelpiece."

"No, it wouldn't, because I know who this is now. Maebariel.”

“Has to be one of your relations,” she mused.

“Yes. Which would explain why I was drawn to it. It must hold some kind of celestial power.”

“Why would his face be on a statue in a murder victim’s silverware drawer?”

“That’s the thing, Detective. It’s only one of his faces. He’s actually got four, but he mostly only shows two of them at one time.”

“Like Janus.”

“Not _like_ Janus. I ran into him a few millennia ago, when he was taking a vacation of his own. He made friends with some of the locals, and I warned him it would only end in trouble, but he carried on anyway, and let them worship him as a deity of sorts. Can’t imagine Dad being very happy about it, but I haven’t heard anything about him since. Amenadiel might know.”

“You think this thing might have been infused with his magic somehow?”

“It’s not magic. Anymore than your ability to solve crimes or drive a car is magic. It’s his special, divine talent. He’s a keeper of beginnings and endings, of transitions, duality, and gateways. I’ve never heard of anything like this happening before, but I suppose it could be interpreted as one of his miracles. If he’d blessed the object, or if it was forged from some kind of celestial element. I mean, it looks like the same stuff as an angelic blade, but it’s impossible to tell in this body.”

The more he talked, the more disoriented she felt. She tried closing her eyes, and imagining his face explaining it to her.

“Are you all right, Detective?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s just… keep calling me that, when no one else is listening. It helps.” She sighed. “So we’re looking for another statue that matches this one. Any idea where we might find it?”

“I know where to start looking. A dealer in ancient religious artefacts. Carmen Grant.”

“The guy who stole your wings.” She felt a quiver in her back at the thought, and she realised that she had those now too. What would it be like to fly? She hadn’t just switched bodies with a man, she’d switched bodies with an angel. The Devil. 

Okay. Maybe there would be things about this that she might like to explore. Just a little.

"Exactly," he said, and then grinned. "Just call me Detective Lucifer."


	2. A Very Tall Tent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a quick warning- there are some sexual references coming up here.

They drove to the precinct first, so they could do a bit more research. It was tedious. Lucifer's fingers couldn't type quite as fast as hers could, and she had to keep adjusting her chair until it felt right. She noticed a couple of people staring as they walked by her desk. Of course, seeing him doing actual work at the computer was a rare sight. He was busy making calls to various people and trying to tease information out of them. He began each call with the phrase, "Chloe Decker, speaking on behalf of Lucifer Morningstar," which, she supposed, was technically true. He had pulled up a chair opposite her and kicked his feet up to rest on the desk. She was about to brush them away, but then thought better of it and leaned back to put her own expensive shoes up, crossed at the ankles as an act of protest. He relented, sat back up and crossed his legs.

Chloe's new position had rearranged and drawn attention to parts of her new anatomy she was trying very hard not to think about. The trouble was, the more she thought about them, the more she noticed them, and it was getting drawn into a downward spiral. 

She was pretty sure she was now going commando, too.

Lucifer had gone quiet, and then came to stand beside her. "You have a situation brewing," he whispered with a smirk.

She looked up at him, confused.

"Whatever you're thinking about, I'd like to hear about it later, but if you don't start thinking about something less interesting, pretty sharpish, you'll be pitching a very tall tent."

She glanced down, and hastily moved her legs back under the desk. "Why is that happening?" she hissed.

"Presumably because you're thinking of something you like. Which is fine with me, but I suspect you'd prefer to explore that in private."

"I'm not exploring your…" she blew out slowly as she felt the situation worsen. Work. Think about the case. "Joshua worked for an agency, it looks like they supplied staff for special events. Mostly bar work, or ushers, or service staff. They do parties, training courses and fundraisers."

"Would any of those fundraisers have been auctions, by any chance?"

"They don't have records of who did what online, but we can go ask them."

"Fabulous idea. Does that mean I get to flash my badge around?"

"It's still my badge, but maybe a little." She froze as she realised. He was also carrying her gun. But she could trust him now, right? He had proved he could be responsible. Plus he wasn't actually crazy. It would be fine.

***

The office of the Stott and Co. Services was small, but well presented. There were fresh flowers on the reception desk and abstract paintings on the walls. It was designed to make a good impression. The man behind the desk was clean shaven and wore fashionable glasses with his suit. Chloe had no idea if it was a cheap suit or not, but it fitted him well. He greeted them with a smile and asked how he could help them today.

They had rehearsed this in the car. "Detective Decker, Los Angeles police," Lucifer said, offering her badge for inspection. "My partner, Lucifer Morningstar. I'm sorry to inform you that one of your employees has been murdered."

"Oh my God! Who?"

To give Lucifer credit, he didn’t even flinch. "Joshua Irving. We're investigating several angles at present, but it would be very helpful if we could look through his work records and find out which events he's attended over the last year."

"That's confidential information. I would have to speak to the boss, and she's in a meeting."

"That's okay," Lucifer smiled sweetly. It was unfair how naturally he could flirt. "We can wait."

"Take a seat." The man gestured to a row of padded chairs.

"That's odd," Lucifer said under his breath. "He barely seemed to notice me."

"Get over yourself," Chloe teased. "Not everyone has to instantly fall in love with you."

"Yes, you certainly took your time about it," he smirked.

After a short while a couple walked out of the inner office, talked briefly with the man at the desk, and left. He nodded at Lucifer and Chloe and picked up the phone. "Ms. Stott, there's a couple of cops here who like to ask you some questions… They said they need information on Joshua Irving. Very good, ma'am." He put the phone down. "This way please." He ushered them through the inner door and introduced them.

"Thank you, Adrian," a talk, elegant woman said, and he closed the door behind him. "Please, sit down. May I ask what this is all about?"

"We're sorry to have to tell you this, but Joshua Irving was murdered in his home last night," Chloe said. She gave Ms. Stott a moment to process the information, but she didn't show much of a reaction beyond a look of concern. "We're trying to gather as much information as we can about him, to get the broader picture."

"That's sad news."

"You don't seem that surprised," Lucifer noted. 

She steepled her fingers on her desk. "Joshua was… well, for the most part he was a wonderful employee. Very reliable, prompt, polite. But then, about four months ago, something went wrong. He seemed to be having some mental health issues. He stopped answering calls for two weeks, and I gave him time because of his record. In the end he contacted me, apologised and came back to work, but he wasn't the same. He was volatile, short tempered and prone to outbursts and memory lapses. He seemed to be getting better, but I was worried if it continued I might have to let him go."

Lucifer and Chloe exchanged glances. "Do you happen to have details of where he was working just before this happened? It could be there was an altercation of some kind, or someone was threatening him," Chloe suggested.

"Under the circumstances, I don't have any objections to giving you his records. He didn't have any next of kin on file." She tapped on her keyboard. "There's a couple of things listed that week. First was a training conference that ran for three days. He helped set up and then worked the refreshments buffet. The company was called Vector Alignment. Not the best name, but they send a lot of business our way. The last one was a charity auction, ran by a man named Vincent Gorman."

"I don't suppose you could give us his contact details," Lucifer said, flashing a charming smile.

"That would be giving out personal information without permission."

"Don't worry, I'm sure we can track him down," he replied.

She glanced at Chloe, flushing slightly. "I wish I could be more helpful."

"Actually, what you've told us could prove to be quite useful," Chloe said, and the woman smiled.

Lucifer's eyes flicked back and forth between the two of them. Chloe cleared her throat. "Well, we should get going."

"Wait," Ms. Stott said, scribbling quickly on a small square of paper. "You can reach me directly on this number, if you have any more questions. About the case." She held it out to Chloe. She'd signed it Valerie.

She took it and tucked it in her breast pocket. "Thank you. If there's anything else we need, we'll be in touch."

They went outside and Lucifer elbowed her on the way back to the car. "Naughty Detective. Are you going to call her?"

"Not unless we think of any more questions. I think we have what we need."

"Poor Ms. Stott, she'll be so disappointed."

"What?" she looked at him, perplexed. 

He raised his brows and opened the car door. "Nevermind. So, Joshua. Big personality change a couple of months ago. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That he got switched by the statue too? It seems likely."

"Which would make whomever he swapped with our number one suspect. The question is, how do we find then? Needles and haystacks."

"Not so much. He probably came into contact with the statue at the auction. If we can track down this Vincent guy, we can get a list of guests and who bought what. We can narrow it down from there, particularly if Janus is on the list. It might take a while though, if he doesn't want to talk we'll have to wait for a warrant."

"Oh don't sorry, he'll be begging to talk. Vincent Gorman is another alias for our friend Carmen Grant."

***

They decided to go back to Chloe's place. Lucifer wasn't having much luck trying to get information from his contacts with the voice of a cop. Once there, they would be able to talk freely and he could coach her on what to say.

Because that always went well. He had a new tactic this time, which involved printing off a string of emojis that he could point to, indicating whether she should be fierce scary Devil, or cold malicious Satan, or friendly and persuasive Lucifer. They kept the phone on speaker and he passed her lines and phrases by quickly typing them out on the laptop.

After the first two, he seemed to be getting agitated and squirmy. "All you okay?" she asked, increasingly concerned.

"Actually no. I don't feel quite right."

"Does something hurt?"

"Not exactly. It's just uncomfortable. In my- your nether regions."

Chloe looked at the clock. They'd swapped bodies hours ago, and not left each other's side since. It hadn't occurred to her because she hadn't felt the need, even though they'd both been drinking coffee. 

"Upstairs, first door on the right."

"Of course," he said with a sigh. "I don't suppose you could…"

"I'll wait outside and talk you through it."

Leaning against the wall in the upstairs corridor, she heard everything. Clearly he'd been hiding the discomfort for a while. She even heard him sigh with relief. "Don't forget to wipe. And wash your hands. With soap."

The toilet flushed and the tap ran, and he came out smiling.

"Better?"

"Much."

"I take it that's not a thing you have to do normally."

"Supernatural metabolism. Nothing is wasted. I mean it's not impossible, and it takes a lot of fluid and lot of concentration, but I have been known to manage if someone particularly desires-"

"Stop!" she held up a hand. "Really don't need to hear the end of that story. Especially not while I'm inhabiting the body that… I'm trying not to think about that stuff."

"The sex?"

"Yes, the sex."

"Actually Detective, this provides us with a unique opportunity. I can explore and experiment, and by the time you're back in your own body, I'll know exactly what works for you, what you like best."

"You can't do things to my body while I'm not in it!"

"That's the beauty of it," he grinned. "You'd be doing them to yourself. There might even be some residual muscle memory-"

She placed a finger over his lips. Her lips. "I'm not letting you out of my sight until we are back in our own bodies."

His breath hitched and he nodded quietly.

"No more sex talk. Not like this. Got it?"

"Yes, Detective."

Something about the way he said it made her skin feel very warm. "We need to get back to work."

They made more progress after that. They had it down to a guy who knew a guy when Ella called to say the full autopsy was in. They drove back to the precinct and met her in the lab. Dan was there too, leaning his hands on the table and looking through the crime scene photos. He appeared slightly uncomfortable when they walked in together.

"So, what have we got?" Chloe asked automatically, and then realised her mistake.

"You're keen, today," Ella noted.

"I've missed this," she replied. 

"Well, I have managed to piece together some of the story," Ella said proudly. "There was no sign of break in, in fact there were two coffee cups in the living room so it looks like they were talking before they got into the fight. And yeah, it wasn't the all out furniture smashing kind of fight, but there were scuff marks in the wall, and a couple of niknaks knocked over, and I traced their path from the living room to the kitchen. There was an empty space in the knife block which matches our victim's abdominal wound, so it looks like it wasn't premeditated, the killer just went with what they found in the moment. Judging by the angle, they were quite close together when the knife went in, and," she paused for dramatic effect, "The killer was shorter than the victim."

"It takes a certain amount of strength to stab someone," Lucifer said, his voice oddly flat. "Do you think our killer was a woman?"

"It's possible. She'd have to be pretty fit to hold her own in a fight against this guy, but he wasn't exactly a gym buff."

He nodded slowly, arms wrapped in front of him. Chloe recognised the stance, he was mimicking her posture so perfectly. It made her consider how much attention he paid her and that felt, well, romantic. "A fight fits with what we found out," she said, and together they filled in the other two on their meeting with Valerie Stott.

"So you think he had an issue with someone at this auction that made him freak out, and then whoever it was came back to kill him," Dan said. 

"I know it's not much, but apart from these two events, his life was fairly straightforward," Lucifer said. "I think it's worth pursuing."

"The Detective has been helping me try to track down Vincent Gorman. We believe it's an alias for someone we've dealt with before. He deals in antiquities, often forged ones, which might link in with the random statue in the drawer. We need to tread carefully though."

"Why, did you beat him up last time or something?" Dan asked. Chloe knew he was trying to work on his anger management, but it was still a work in progress where Lucifer was concerned. 

"He stole something that was important to me," she said. "We had words."

"What if we lured him out with something he wanted?" Lucifer suggested. "You've got a whole bunch of old stuff at your place, there must be something there he'd want."

"They're _antiques,_ Detective. But yes, there are a few things that might get him interested. Might take a while before he takes the bait, so we’ll have to make it something tempting. Fortunately, tempting is very much my jam."

"We better get started straight away then," Lucifer said. 

Dan nodded. "Meanwhile, tech's been working on his phone and laptop, so Ella and I'll see what we can dig up from that."

"Lovely," Chloe said. "We have a plan. Detective, would you care to accompany me?"

"Why not. I'm sure I'll be really useful at helping you pick out doo-dads," he grinned.

Dan glared briefly before he looked back down at the table.

"Have fun with your doo-dads!" Ella said with a cheerful wave.


	3. Supernatural Metabolism

When they got to the penthouse her legs carried her straight to the bar on autopilot. She stopped herself before pouring a drink, and looked around. Lucifer's body was at ease here. She sighed, realising how on guard she'd been feeling since this morning.

Lucifer walked up to her, laid a gentle hand on her back, and took a glass. "It's going to be okay," he told her. "We'll get the second statue and everything will go back to normal."

"We don't know that," she admitted. "What if Joshua is still out there, trapped in someone else's body?"

"If he is, it's his own fault for killing himself and he's got what he deserved." He poured himself a drink and went to knock it back, but she caught his hand. She didn't think she could move that fast.

"Wait! That's not your body, you can't pour alcohol into it the way you do with your own. I don't want to come back home to a terrible hangover."

"Not even a little bit?"

"Maybe later. Work first. The sooner I get out of this thing the better."

"Is it so terrible being me?" He was smirking again, but his eyes remained lowered, like he was hiding in the jest.

She took his hands on hers. Or vice versa. It was hard to keep it straight, and this was the most they'd touched since it happened. "It's not that. But it's disorienting. I keep seeing your hands, but they're my hands. I want you to be you, so I can hold you again, so I can lean into you and feel safe and comforted."

"Sounds lovely," he smiled at her.

And when she looked at her own face, and saw that vulnerable look in his eyes that she knew too well, she knew that this must be difficult for him too. So she held out her arms and stepped closer, and he shyly put his hands on her chest and rested his face against her. She held him. He felt small, and soft, and wonderful. 

"Oh," he breathed. "That is nice."

"Hmmm. It's good for me too." She pressed her face into his hair, and inhaled her own scent, and the urge to protect him, to help him and make everything better was so strong. She felt him melt into her arms, and wondered if he'd ever been held like this before. His mom, maybe. She wrapped her arms a little tighter, trying to show him just how precious he was.

"Lucifer," she whispered, "I love you."

He inhaled deeply and let out a trembling breath. Then he pulled back slowly. They gazed at each other, each trying to find the soul caught in their own reflection. He reached up and touched her cheek, fingers grazing over stubble. Then he giggled.

"Sorry, it's no good. I mean as much as I know what a handsome face it is, it's still my face and it feels…"

"Weird? Wrong and upside down? I know what you mean."

He stiffened and walked away. She'd touched a nerve somewhere, but she wasn't sure how. It seemed to be the standard procedure since he got back. Two steps forward, one step back. Except they didn't seem to be getting any closer.

Lucifer shrugged his way out of her jacket and hung it on a barstool. Then he unbuckled her holster, walked to the bedroom and locked the gun in the safe. It surprised her, but she wasn’t going to mention it. It was a relief though. She wondered how much was for other people’s protection or his own. Maybe he just wanted her body to be safe for when they switched back. He didn’t expain it either. 

"Right, antiques. Also known as mementos from my former holidays. He's drawn to relics with religious significance, or at least those that claim to have it. I did have a sword or two from the crusades, but Maze must have pinched them. I think something from the library is our best bet. Not that I keep many prayer books, but I do have the odd prophecy or two. Ooh, I know just the thing." He lifted out a compact, green hardback with the title written in gold.

"The nice and accurate prophecies, volume two," she read. "What happened to volume one?"

"It got burned. It had run its course anyway, all the parts that were going to happen had already happened, and now we're onto the sequel. I've made sure there have been rumours about its existence in certain circles, but nothing too concrete."

"The parts that were going to happen? So this is like a true prophecy?"

"Some of it, yes. Various tips that have led to some timely investments."

"And the parts that weren't?"

"Apparently I'm supposed to have a child. Like I said, never happening."

She thrust her hands in on her pockets. "Well, there's an important dating question out the way. Not that I object, I mean, the age gap between Trixie and any sibling I produced for her now…" she trailed off as she noticed Lucifer staring at her.

"I didn't mean _us,"_ he said, eyes wide. "Just in general, I'm not a fan of children, as you well know. If you wanted…"

"Wait- are you saying you'd consider having a baby with me?"

His mouth opened, and he drew breath, but she could see the picture emerging in his mind. "Only for a moment," he shuddered.

"Don't worry," she smiled, gently touching his arm. "It's not something I'm planning on either."

He sighed with relief and let his head drop onto her shoulder. "Don't frighten me like that. I'm not sure your heart can take it."

She chuckled. It sounded strange, Lucifer rarely laughed out loud. "Okay, fill me in on this prophecy."

***

Lucifer took photos on his own phone and emailed them to the guy who knew a guy who Carmen knew and trusted. They called Ella and got her updated, but she said there was a backlog in the IT department so there was no news on Joshua's devices yet. 

"Right, we need to eat," Chloe declared, flopping back on the sofa and stretching out her legs along its length.

"We do?" Lucifer said, grabbing her shoes- his shoes- before they left dents in the leather and pulling them off her feet. He checked her watch. "We do. You really don't notice things like that, do you?"

"Not often. But apparently, you do. I'm starving."

"Well, if you don't want to go out, which I know I don't, there are several places that will deliver here."

"Is one of them Chinese? Because I would love to test out your supernatural metabolism." 

"I'll put in a large order so you can stuff my face."

They were half way through dinner with their phones left on the table when Dan called. Well, Chloe was, Lucifer admitted defeat early on, complaining that human female stomachs were far too small for serious gluttony. He saw the caller ID and looked at Chloe. "I suppose I better answer this."

"Put it on speaker, I can do prompts if you get stuck."

"Hi, Dan," Lucifer said simply as he answered. "What's up?"

"Hey," Dan said heavily. "Sorry to bother you, but Trixie insisted I check in. I think she's worried about you being on your own."

"It's okay, tell her I'm fine. And I'm not alone."

There was a short pause. "You're with Lucifer?"

"Yes."

"Look, Chlo, I know it's none of my business anymore, but be careful."

"You don't trust him."

"He hasn't exactly got a glowing track record. He has a tendency to bail, and I've seen you get hurt by that too often."

"I know. But there were circumstances. I can't get into all that now."

 _He's only saying it because he cares about me,_ Chloe tapped out on Lucifer's phone. 

"Chloe, I know you think I'm prejudiced, but you gotta admit his behaviour over the last year has been… erratic."

Lucifer breathed. "Yes. It has. Look, I'm not trying to make excuses, but he's been through Hell. I can tell you that Lucifer cares about me very much, and he'd never hurt me intentionally."

"Intentionally or otherwise, it's happened before."

"I know. But… he's important to me, Dan. He needs me. And I need him." His eyes flicked towards Chloe, and she reached out and squeezed his hand. 

"Sounds serious."

"It is. It's still early days, though. We're taking things slowly. But there's something different this time. I think we might finally work it out."

"Okay. Just…"

"Be careful?"

"Just remember, if it doesn't work out- and I'm not saying it won't, but if- just remember I'm here for you okay? You don't have to run away again."

"Thanks, Dan. That means a lot."

"Yeah, well, still friends right? You're stuck with me."

"You're not so bad. Possibly the most understanding ex-husband in history."

"Hey, I guess we all make mistakes. But that doesn't make us bad people, right?"

Lucifer pressed his lips together. "Right. Look, I should go."

"Of course, sorry. You have a thing."

"Give Trixie a big hug from me."

"I will. Have a good night. Well, not too good."

"Goodnight Dan!" Lucifer said and hung up. "Please say I'm allowed that drink now."

"Yes! Good idea. Me too."

He walked over to the bar, filled two tumblers and passed her the larger portion as he sat back down.

"You handled that really well," Chloe said, and nudged him with her toe. "So we're serious?"

"Very serious," he sipped slowly. "We just had the offspring conversation, remember?"

"We did. Wow. So, no kids, no marriage either, I'm guessing."

"Not in a church, at least," he smirked. "But it's a bit early to be making decisions like that."

"I guess, I'm just wondering what this is going to look like a few years down the line. Would you consider living with me and Trixie at some point?"

"I suppose that's where it ends up. But I'm not there yet. I can't even manage one night yet."

"Look, if you want me to go, I can head back to my place. Nobody's there, I can-"

"Do you want to go?"

"No," she said quietly. "I never want to go. I just don't know how…" she sighed. "It's complicated. For both of us. And I'm pretty sure it's worse for you, but I know we can figure it out, given time and patience. I'm not letting you go again."

"Good. Because I don't want to go either."

"Just to be clear, we are not having sex like this. But maybe," she looked over at the bed, "we could just get used to snuggling up?"

"I think I'd like that. But I'll need a lot more alcohol first."

"Yeah, me too!" Chloe agreed.

Lucifer took another mouthful and poured the contents of his glass into hers. "Right then. Down it!"

"That's a lot!"

"You're going to need a lot more than that if you want to get drunk on my metabolism. And I'll need you to keep an eye on how much I'm drinking too, I don't want a hangover either."

Chloe looked at her glass, and then put it to her lips and started gulping. She set it down on the coffee table with a satisfied gasp. "That stuff is good. No wonder you always drink it."

"Hmm. Perhaps we ought to head downstairs and use up something less expensive."

Chloe laughed. "What, you seriously want me to hang around in your club as you? Aren't you worried I'll spoil your reputation?"

"The only person whose opinion matters to me these days is yours. Besides, it could be fun."

"You do remember what an awkward geek I am, don't you?"

"Just don't do anything you wouldn't want done to you."

"You need a dress!" she said suddenly. "Do you still have that lost property box? The one where I got the red dress?"

"It's not like people wander out of here naked on a regular basis," he said indignantly. "Although I think Eve might have left a few things."

She rolled her eyes. "It's like you don't want to get all pretty. Are you trying to put me off?"

He bristled. "No, it's just…"

"Talk to me, Lucifer. What's going on?"

"Well, you were very particular about what I shouldn't be doing while I'm in this body, and now you want me to take all your clothes off?"

"It's nothing you haven't seen before."

"Yes, but that was then. It's different now."

It was that same feeling she got at the end of all their dates, when she knew he didn't want her to go, but couldn't quite bring himself to stay either.

"Yes. It's different. There are feelings. But we are both going to have to deal with it, because we can't both turn up to work tomorrow unbathed and in the same outfits."

"Bloody Hell. You want me to get in the shower."

"I could blindfold you and scrub you down?"

His cheeks reddened as he imagined it. "How is that any better?"

"No, you're right, I didn't think that one through. Come on. Let's get you dolled up. Lucifer Morningstar _always_ looks his best, even when he's wearing someone else's body. And I don't care who wore it before, so long as you're wearing it now."

He smiled. "Let's raid the wardrobe."

There wasn't much in the way of dresses- two frilly, floaty things that were just too girly for either of them, and some red and black PVC that Lucifer said would give him a total lady boner all night. Chloe didn't comment. She was too busy trying to distract herself from the thought of Lucifer getting turned on by her body, and the effect those kinds of thoughts might have on the one she was currently occupying.

As her eyes scanned the room, she noticed something- a large white box like the one she kept her old wedding dress in. "What's this?" she asked, going over to look at it.

"That…" he hesitated. "Well, that's a dress."

"Why do you have a dress in a box?"

"To keep it in pristine condition?"

She nodded. "Why is it here?" she tried instead. 

"Because I bought it as a gift for you when I was trying to plan our first date, but then that all went pear-shaped and… well, I couldn't quite bring myself to part with it."

It took her a minute to realise he was talking about the date they didn't quite have way back before Eve. Her head tilted sideways. "This is for me? Can I see?"

He walked over and lifted the lid, and then a layer of tissue paper, to reveal the red silk gown. She gasped and lifted it up. "Lucifer, it's beautiful! You should totally wear it."

"I think it might be a little much for LUX. Besides, I want to save it for you. For when we do get that special date."

She stared at the dress, running her fingers over the fabric. It was like that prom night all over again, another wonderful, grand gesture that he made without a second thought. She didn't deserve this. He was an immortal being, it was foolish to think she could mean anything to him, and yet here he was, keeping hold of an expensive gift he was too nervous to give her. His actions proved over and again that she meant much more than he could ever admit.

Except he did admit it. Once. Out there, on the balcony, when he told her she was his first love. That statement- that _mind blowing_ statement, considering how long he'd lived and how many people he'd met- was what had kept her going all the time he was away.

And then he was back, and everything was slightly off, but she knew they could get through it. If they could just get through tonight, and get the statue, and get back in their own bodies, then she was going to make sure they worked out how to be together. In the meantime, she needed him to feel relaxed and good about himself. She tucked the dress back in the box and looked around.

"Okay, I've got an idea, can you take off that shirt? Don't worry, I put on really sensible underwear this morning."

His fingers fumbled on the buttons a little.

"Would you like some help?"

"Nope," he said decisively, emphasising every letter of the word.

She took a black waistcoat with a fine pinstripe off its hanger and handed it to him. He raised his eyebrows and tried it on. It worked well with the tight black pants she'd put on this morning, dipping low enough to hint at the curve of her breasts and leaving her arms bare.

"It needs tightening, at the back," he said.

She moved behind him and adjusted the straps, and they both looked in the mirror.

For a moment, it was almost as if they were themselves again. She reached for his hand, and he took it. But where she should have felt stronger, broader fingers, she found them small and delicate.

Her heart ached.

They could fix this. They had to fix this.

She let go and pulled the elastic out her hair, letting it tumble freely around her shoulders. His shoulders.

His hand went to the bullet pendant that hung around his neck, his lips parting, but not speaking. 

“I started wearing it again after you went away,” she explained. “I missed you so much and it helped to have a reminder next to my skin.”

He smiled. "We look gorgeous. Let's go get drunk."

"Excellent plan."


	4. Because I love you

"Remember, just feel confident and have fun," Lucifer said as the elevator took them down. "You get to be me, tonight." 

"What do I say?"

"Well, for a start, you tell Patrick at the bar to make it a generous one, and another for your beautiful lady friend. That's me," he smirked.

The doors opened before she could ask anything else, and they were swallowed by music and light. He grabbed her hand and led her to the bar.

"Patrick," she called. "I'm thirsty, be generous. And my lovely Detective will have one too."

Patrick poured and handed her two rather full glasses. She drained half of hers and then topped it up from Lucifer's. 

"Hey!" he said loudly.

"No way you can handle all that at once," she told him, with a grin. "Go steady. If you throw up on me, it's your own suit you'll ruin."

He smiled and sipped daintily, and they caught each other's eyes over the glass. She wasn't sure what else to say, so she didn't say anything.

A tiny blonde in a little black dress turned towards them. "Hi, Lucifer," she purred. 

"Hello, darling," Chloe said with a grin. She didn't want to appear rude, after all. But she also didn't want to encourage any hopeful suitors, so she took Lucifer's hand again. "Are you enjoying your evening?"

"It's good. I can think of a way to make it better." The woman stepped closer, clearly not taking the hint. "Who's your friend?" she gave Lucifer an equally flirtatious look.

Chloe froze. Was this woman suggesting what she appeared to be suggesting? Of course she was. Because Lucifer was well known for that kind of thing.

But the Devil was whispering in her ear. "Tell her that you're afraid you've already made an arrangement for this evening, and that your partner isn't in the mood to share."

Chloe related the message, and the woman walked away, promising she'd still be there if they changed their mind.

"You're not even a little bit tempted, are you?" Lucifer asked.

"No. I mean, she's pretty, and a part of me is a little curious, but I'd much rather spend my time with you."

"Would you ever consider a threesome?"

She narrowed her eyes. "I think the two of us is complicated enough for now."

His eyebrows bobbed up and down. "That's not an outright no."

"You're getting ahead of yourself. When I make love to you, I don't want you to be distracted by anyone else."

He knocked his drink back quickly. She asked for the bottle, and they took it to one of the booths, where Lucifer continued to pour it out in unequal measures until they were both feeling the buzz. 

A few more suitors tried their luck, and were disappointed, but not as many as Chloe had been expecting. "It's like they know I'm not you, or something," she said.

Lucifer stared into the amber depths of his drink. "Perhaps the message is finally getting around."

"The message?"

"I haven't exactly been living up to my reputation since I got back," he admitted.

"What, not at all?"

"It hardly seemed appropriate under the circumstances. I couldn't risk you walking in on anything. And besides…"

She waited.

"They're not you."

She poured the last of the bottle into their tumblers and waved at the bar for another. The alcohol was wearing off almost as fast as she could drink it. 

His confession shouldn't have come as a surprise, but a part of her had wondered. It was reassuring, but also worrying, because it meant he was waiting for her. But what was he waiting for? 

He took a large gulp of his whisky, still staring down into the glass, and there was that haunted look in his eyes again.

_"He's been through Hell,"_ he'd told Dan. _"He needs me."_

She shuffled closer and put an arm over his shoulders. "I'm here now." He leaned into her, and she pressed a chaste kiss to the top of his head, the need to care for him and make things better getting stronger.

"Hello," said a soft voice beside her, and she looked up to see two beautiful women hovering next to the table. They both wore ridiculously short dresses, one in tight red satin and the other silver and subtly glittering. "May we join you?"

"Sorry, ladies, this is more of a private moment," Chloe replied.

Lucifer raised his head, curiously. "Actually, Lucifer, you should talk to them. I don't mind."

"As you wish," she said. They moved along and made room on the banquette. The ladies put their cocktail glasses on the table. "I'm Lucifer, but you probably already know that. This is my good friend Chloe."

"Good friend?" the one in red asked.

Lucifer smiled at her. "We're working on that part. It's complicated."

"But worth it," Chloe added.

"You look good together. I'm Jessica, and this is Katie."

"Like the rabbit?"

"What?"

"Nevermind. And what do you two do?"

"We're actresses!" Katie said. "We moved here to start an adventure together. We have to share an apartment to make rent, but we're out celebrating tonight."

"Yes! Today we both landed our first role."

"Congratulations," Chloe said.

"It's only a commercial, but we're playing sisters which is so sweet," Jessica said. They exchanged smiling glances.

"So you two have known each other for a while then," Lucifer said. "Good friends?"

"The best!" Katie replied. "We were in the cheerleading squad together at high school. We did a double date for prom and everything."

"And where are those lucky young men now?"

"We left them back at home. They were cute, but kinda dull, you know?"

"I do," Chloe agreed.

"But we don't need guys to have a good time," Jessica said. "We have each other. Unless…" 

"Unless what?" 

The two women looked at each other again, and then back at Chloe.

Lucifer leaned in on to speak in her ear. "They're trying to ask us if we'll go to bed with them. But I have a suspicion that's not what they really want." He took another sip and looked straight at Jessica. "Jess, sweetheart, is that what you really want? Isn't there some other desire that you're secretly hiding?"

Jessica let out a flirtatious giggle. "If I did, you think I'd tell a girl I'd only just met?"

Lucifer leaned back, stunned. Chloe smirked and caught Jessica's eye. "Why don't you tell me instead? Go on. What do you truly desire?"

Jessica froze. Chloe could feel something happening, a kind of thirst that pulled them together like a magnet. She could see the desire emerging from the place that Jessica kept it hidden, a tiny bird trying to fight its way out of a cracked egg. It was struggling, it wanted to be free, but it had been denied for so long that it was weak.

It reminded her of an interrogation with a frightened witness. It didn't need to be pushed, but given gentle encouragement.

"It's okay," she said softly, making sure to hold her gaze. "Whatever it is, I won't judge you for it. Your dreams are precious, you just need to set them free so they can fly." It was a cheesy thing to say, and she knew it, but she could feel the eggshell fall away. 

Jessica smiled. "We'd heard rumours about you. Katie said, maybe we'd have more of a chance with you if we worked together. I said yes, but only because I wanted the chance to be with her, even if it was with another guy."

Chloe dropped her eyes, and looked at Katie. She was gaping at her friend in astonishment, but her eyes were filled with joy. “You.. you want to be with _me?_ Like, not just friends, but…”

“Yes!” Jessica turned to her. “You’re gorgeous, and funny, and you’re always there for me. I’ve had a crush on you since tenth grade. But we always spent so much time talking about guys, I kept it a secret. I’m sorry. It doesn’t have to make things weird does it? Can we still be friends?”

“No, silly,” Katie said, and then grabbed her face in both hands and kissed her right on the lips. “Why do you think I suggested a threesome? Why do you I suggested we both lose our virginity at the same time on prom night? I was thinking of you the whole time. I wanted it to be you. I loved you then, and I love you now.”

“I love you too,” Jessica said, and they kissed again.

Chloe felt a surge of joy blossoming in her chest, a heady sense of fulfilment to see Jessica's desire satisfied.

“I think the two of you need to go and talk somewhere quiet,” Lucifer suggested. “Or possibly get a room.”

When neither of them let go or came up for air, Chloe turned to him. “Or we could just go find another table?”

“Yes, let’s do that,” he smiled, and they shuffled around. He hadn’t taken two steps before he wobbled and grabbed her arm. “Whoops! Well, this is fun. My head’s all spinny.”

“That’s because you’re drunk,” Chloe said fondly.

“I am? I like it,” he giggled. She found him a seat at the bar and helped him into it. “So what happened there? Why did it work for you and not me? That shouldn’t have happened.”

“Why not? I’m in your body.”

He sniggered. “Brings a whole new meaning to you penetrating me. But I digress. My power is part of me, it’s an extension of my very essence, it should be linked to my soul, not my body.”

“I dunno. I guess it just needs a celestial body to channel it. I felt it, the power, when I asked her. I never expected it to be so tangible. And then when they kissed- there was this rush. Is that what it’s like for you? Granting desires?"

His brows drew together. "What, you mean it's not like that for everyone?"

She shook her head. "Mm-mm. That was new. I guess it makes a bit more sense of you, though."

"I don't think I want to know," he admitted. "You know what, we should dance."

"We should?"

"Yes, why not?"

"Because I'm not sure if you can even stay upright?"

He grinned, grabbed both sides of the stool and dropped down to the floor. "See? Standing," he said, gesturing down his body.

"Swaying," she corrected. 

He took her hands. "That's okay though. Swaying is an integral part of dancing."

His words weren't slurred, but he was enunciating with deliberate care and attention. She just hoped the hangover would wear off before she was back in her body. And it was good to see him relaxed and happy, even if it was just another avoidance tactic, so she humoured him.

"Okay, I'm game. Let's go dance."

It wasn't a particularly fast song, and Chloe got away with curling her arms around his waist as they rocked slowly side to side. He looped his hands behind her neck and looked up at her, all dreamy eyed.

"My Detective," he smiled.

"You are so drunk. Sorry I'm such a lightweight."

"It's good. I've never been this drunk for this long before. It feels nice. Like all the darkness is just skittering away."

"Was there a lot of darkness before?"

"I was in Hell, Detective. There was nothing but darkness. Darkness and ash, and terrifying tendrils that try and claw their way into your soul. But I don't want to think about that now." He leaned on her chest, and they swayed to the music. It felt so close, so intimate, and it didn't matter that they were the wrong way round- not in this moment. She felt like she could happily stay like this forever. 

The song came to end, and he looked up at her, and for a moment she thought they were about to kiss, but then his eyes drifted to the ceiling and he laughed. "Your bladder is tiny."

"It gets worse when you're drunk," she explained. "Go on, I'll meet you back at the bar."

She had another large glass of whisky, enough to give her a slight buzz for a few moments. She began to notice a few people smiling at her, giving her flirtatious glances, and tried not to meet their gaze. A woman with unnaturally red hair approached her anyway. 

"You look lonely," she said, running a hand down Chloe's back. 

She turned out of reach, but the woman just touched her arm instead. Chloe carefully took her wrist and gently moved her away. "Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine. I'm with a friend."

"Bet she's not as pretty as me. I could keep you company."

"I'm sure there are plenty of other gentlemen who would enjoy your attention."

"No one as hot as you though. There's something about you. It's… magnetic." Her fingers trailed back to reach toward Chloe. 

Chloe took a step back and realised there were hungry eyes all over her. "As I said, I'm with someone. Excuse me." She started walking towards the toilets and Lucifer met her on the way. "There you are darling," she said, pulling him close and kissing his cheek. "Can I take you back upstairs?"

"Can I keep drinking?"

"Yes, but you need to slow down before you get sick."

Chloe breathed a sigh of relief as they stepped back into the elevator. "Don't you ever get tired of being adored all the time?"

"I'm not adored," he moaned, leaning against the wall. "I used to think I was, but it turns out I'm the one who keeps getting used. It doesn't mean anything to them, they just know I can give them what they want, and when they've had enough, that's it."

"You know that's not gonna happen with me, right?"

"Isn't it? Every time we've got anywhere near close to… being closer, one of us has panicked and run away. What makes this time different?"

"Because. I know you. And I love you. I'm not going to let anything get between us again."

"But what if-" 

"I don't care if your Dad Himself turns up and orders me to stay away from you, I'll just tell Him no, go away, leave us alone."

Lucifer closed his eyes. "What if I'm not what you expected?"

"What do you mean? Lucifer I've seen you, at your best and at your worst. Sure, there may be a few surprises, but I can't think of anything you could possibly do that would change my mind."

"I can. I can think of lots of things."

The lift stopped and doors opened and he walked straight to the bar and got himself another drink.

"Okay, try me."

"I could hurt your daughter. That would scare you right off."

"No you couldn't. You've already told me you'd do anything to keep her safe, and you don't lie. Anything else?"

"I could tell you some of the things I did in Hell."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, but that's not new information. I don't know the details, but I know the jist of it. You punished bad people. I've made my peace with that."

"But you don't know what I did!"

"I have a fair idea. I know what torture is. It doesn't change anything. I'm in love with the Devil. I know what that means."

"I'm not good enough for you!" he cried, slamming his palm on the bar.

She stepped closer. "But you are, don't you see? You gave up the chance of happiness to protect me, to protect the world. You've risked your life for me so many times. You're a good person, Lucifer."

"But I can't… it doesn't…" He picked up the glass and took a large gulp. She took it from his hand and set it aside.

"Tell me. Whatever it is, we can't move past it if you don't tell me."

He took a deep breath. "You're immune to my powers. So if- when- we do become intimate, it will be completely out of my control. I can't sense your desires, I can't use my supernatural talents to attract and arouse you. It could turn out that you think I'm nothing special."

She took his face in her hands, made him look at her. "How special you are has nothing to do with how good you are in bed. We could have the most average sex ever, and I'd still want to be with you. Because I love you."

"You keep saying that. It's not an answer to everything."

"Actually, it pretty much is. And I'm going to keep saying it until you believe it. Because I love you." It was hard to see that expression on her own face, but she couldn't back away from him now.

He lifted a hand to her cheek, brushed his thumb over her lips, and rose up on tiptoes to press a light, tender kiss there. Her breath caught in the intensity of the moment, of how close they felt, but then his lips twitched and he pulled back. 

"That's just bloody weird," he said. 

"Yup," she agreed. "Never imagined kissing myself. It's freaky."

"It's certainly peculiar."

"Nuts."

"But it's you in there."

"And you. And I love you."

And that statement couldn't go without another kiss. This one has more force behind it, a desperate clutching of necks and bodies pressed together.

They broke apart, breathing heavily, sharing their air as their foreheads touched.

"So," Chloe said, "you're in my body, you know exactly how it feels. Do you think it needs any supernatural talent to pull it to this one? Or will the natural chemistry be enough?"

He stole another kiss from her lips. "Fair point. I'll concede that one."

"Good. So all that stuff about a golden opportunity, and getting to know my body, that wasn't just you trying to persuade me to let you play, you're really worried about being able to please me?"

"It's a factor, yes. A big one. I know it's silly, and most people seem to be able to work it out without powers, but I want to be able to give you a night to remember."

"Okay. Well maybe we can work something out. Anything else?"

"I have enormous intimacy issues," he said with a grin.

She laughed and held him closer. "I don't doubt it. I think I may have a few myself. But we might just have to get on with it anyway."

"What, right now?" he teased.

She groaned. A part of her wanted to. A very specific part, that was growing by the moment, and that wasn't helping her think straight either. She leaned in for another kiss. It still felt backwards, but she wanted- _needed-_ something. To feel close to him. To let them share some kind of vulnerability. To get past the barrier of this damned abstinence. “Were you serious? About using this opportunity to explore my body?”

“It was a passing idea, but not one without merit.”

“Then, I think we ought to get you sobered up a little. If we’re gonna do this, I want you to be able to remember it clearly.”

He let go quickly and set about the coffee machine. With a bit of burbling and hissing and Chloe giggling, he was soon sipping a double espresso. Of course he flinched at the unexpected heat on his tongue, which just made her giggle even more. She took the tumbler, knocked back the rest of the whisky and went to fill it up with cold water from the bathroom.

“It’s good to see you so keen, but take a breath, okay? We’ve got time,” she said as she offered it to him.

“I know. But I want to enjoy every minute of it.” He drained the glass and stepped up, pulling her down for another kiss. Then he smiled, his fingertips finding a sensitive spot under the corner of her jaw and ghosting over it. “This could work both ways, you know. As strange as it is kissing myself, I know exactly what this body likes and how it responds. We don't have to do everything. But, if you’ll let me, I’m sure I could give you a night to remember.”

She shivered. Her mind told her no, that their first time shouldn't be like this, but she knew it was just another excuse to avoid taking the next step. She wanted to be with him, and if this got them over the first hurdle, then she should be grabbing that chance while they had it. "Yes!" she gasped, and kissed him again.

They separated long enough for him to down the rest of his coffee, and then she grabbed him in her arms and carried him to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, here's the thing. I wanted to keep this on a lower rating as part of the Smiles Project, but after consulting with some of the other writers I was encouraged to write the scene that follows as a bonus chapter for those who want to read the naked cuddle times. So I'm going to post that as series sequel and then you can take it or leave depending on your preferences.  
> For the explicit bits, read [Find What Feels Good](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25550695)


	5. You're an elephant

Waking up was strange. Like that feeling of being in a different bed, except deep in her bones. Chloe was only confused for a moment though, before she felt Lucifer in her arms, his head resting on her shoulder, and remembered all that they'd shared the night before. The barriers had been broken down, and they'd given in to their need for intimacy, making love with hands and kisses. It wasn't the mind-altering kind of sex she'd heard about from his past lovers, but it was the two of them, expressing their love in the giving and receiving of pleasure. And it was exactly what they both needed.

Her body was horny again, but she knew Lucifer would be tired. They were awake past midnight and he'd woken up at two in the morning and kicked off the covers with a cry of "Bloody Hell, it really is hot in here!" She'd tucked him back in later when she noticed goosebumps on his upper arm.

This body seemed to need less sleep. She'd had a few interrupted hours, waking up whenever Lucifer stirred, but it was enough to leave her feeling fully refreshed. It didn't surprise her much- he managed to put in a full day's work with her, run his club and maintain an active… social life… and there just weren't enough hours in the day.

She held him for another twenty minutes before he stretched and opened his eyes. 

"Good," he murmured. "We're both still here."

"Yep," she smiled, giving him a quick kiss. "Still here. No place I’d rather be."

He looked at her and chuckled. "Wow. You look utterly shagged."

Chloe giggled. "Not completely. But I think we'll save that for when we're ourselves again."

"Certain I can't tempt you?" he asked, placing kisses on her jaw.

"Hnngh. Normally, yes, but we have work to do and a murderer to catch and you need to make sure I'm presentable before going back to mine to get changed."

"You're far too sensible sometimes," he grumbled. "But I think you're right. If we start going down that round, it's the rest of the day gone."

She sighed, imagining spending a whole day naked in his bed and steadfastly ignoring the effect it had on her anatomy. "Come on. Coffee and shower before I succumb to your Devilish wiles. You can show me how to work that fancy machine."

***

They were still both grinning like idiots when they walked into the station.

"Oh, hello," Ella said as she came over to Chloe's desk. "Somebody got some last night."

"Good morning, Ella," Lucifer said. "What's the news on the case?"

"What, just like that, you're shutting me down without the tiniest scrap of gossip? Lucifer, tell her that's unfair!"

"It's most unfair, Detective," Chloe said. "You didn't even let me gloat how I reduced you to a quivering-"

_"Case!"_ Lucifer insisted. "If Ella wants details she can get me drunk next girls' night."

"She'll have to wait a while, then, because I intend to monopolise your time for the next week at least. Possibly a month. We've got some catching up to do." 

She caught his eye, daring him to drop character, but he just smiled and tugged at the front of his jacket and opened up the file.

"Yeah, you have," Ella leered. "You guys are like years overdue for a trip to happy town. Just tell me this, Decker, was it as good as everyone says?"

He raised his head and looked Ella straight in the eye. "Does this face look disappointed?"

Ella grinned. "Awesome. So, you'll be pleased to know we might have the murder weapon."

"Wait, what? Why didn't you lead with that?" Lucifer said.

"Because your news is more important," Ella insisted as Dan walked up.

"There's news?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, Daniel, I finally _staked_ my claim on the Detective last night," Chloe declared, and it felt good to tell him so bluntly. If she'd had to have the conversation as herself, it would have been awkward and embarrassing for both of them. This way, Dan blushed a little, but they could avoid dragging up all the emotional baggage. "We are now officially romantic partners as well as work partners."

"Also, Ella has the murder weapon," Lucifer said before anyone could ask more questions about their relationship status. "How did you find it?"

"I didn't personally. Garbage guy picked it up in the early hours this morning- it just sliced straight through the sack and lay there all bloody and incriminating on the pavement. So the guy calls 911, and they've cornered off the trash cans where it was found, and I'm off to go do my thing."

"We should all go," Chloe said. "Talk to the garbage man, get a feeling for the scene, check to see if anything else has been dumped there…" _Like a second body-switching statue…_

"Good idea. I'll drive," Lucifer said.

"Hey Dan, you can ride with me, buddy," Ella suggested. "Those two are gonna be smooch-" 

"Only if we can talk about something else," Dan replied shortly. His eyes flicked back to Chloe, looking her up and down suspiciously before he strode off.

***

The garbage was in a totally different part of town. This place was a neighbourhood. Like the Mr. Rogers kind. Which explained why the garbage man was surprised and concerned enough to call the police.

Ella took photos before they moved anything, and then had a general rummage before sorting and tagging anything and everything. There was no sign of another statue. The other three went round knocking on doors, asking if they had seen anything suspicious or if anyone had been behaving unusually lately. The housewives- and one smartly dressed househusband- all seemed very taken with Chloe and keen to be as helpful as they could, but nothing seemed to connect to their murder. 

Dan kept giving her looks every time she so much as smiled at one of the women, but if the charm power was helping them get any information, she was going to use it. He seemed to be hovering right behind her, as if waiting for her to make a mistake and take the flirting too far. 

It irked her. She didn't need protecting. Especially not from Lucifer.

Lucifer's phone buzzed in her pocket, and she pulled it out to find a message from their contact. He'd set up an appointment for Vincent Gorman to meet them to look at the book of prophecy. "We're in with the auctioneer this afternoon," she said. "Does anyone want to grab lunch first? I'm getting hungry."

Dan gave her a puzzled look, and she realised she'd dropped character for a second.

"Yes, Daniel?" she challenged. There was no way he would work out what had happened, he'd just chalk it up to more Luciferness.

"Don't you two want to go off and smooch somewhere private?" he said grumpily.

"You'd be welcome to join us," she said, and he blushed and opened his mouth wordlessly. 

"For lunch!" Lucifer added hastily. "Not… anything else."

"No, yeah-" Dan shifted his feet and grabbed the back of his neck. "Lunch, right. Lunch is good. I'm just gonna go… grab my wallet." He walked back to the car quickly.

Chloe stepped closer to Lucifer. "Is it me, or is he being extra weird today?"

"He does seem a bit more interested than usual."

"Interested? You think Dan's getting a crush on you? But he's straight."

"Yes, but it's me. He's always had that thought at the back of his mind, it's just most of the time he manages to keep it there by focussing on my less admirable qualities. So either he's got himself in knots thinking about the two of us together, or…"

"Or?" she prompted when he didn't finish.

"The ladies we talked to were very keen to help. Have you been thinking about last night much?"

"Not specifically. Don't want another 'situation' going on," she gave a meaningful glance downward. "But I'm still very aware that it happened. And it feels good just being close to you."

He nodded. "Right. Well, it's a good thing we're one step closer to getting that second statue."

"Lucifer, what's going on?"

"I've spent a long time learning to control my powers. I can't turn the attraction off completely, but depending on my mood, and the mood of people around me, it can be more or less potent. That's why people don't quite flock around me at work the same way they do at my club."

"And you think my attraction to you is somehow magnifying the pull for people around me?"

"You inadvertently suggested a threesome with Daniel, and he didn't say no."

She let that sink in for a minute. "Right. We really need to get our bodies back. And maybe minimise who I talk to until that happens."

"Excellent idea, Detective."

Dan came running back over. "Okay, who wants tacos?"

***

They all helped Ella load up the bags of evidence into the car, and she said she should take it all straight to the station. Dan said he'd ride with Chloe and Lucifer, get food and they could all eat together in the break room. 

It was a quiet ride. Lucifer asked if Trixie was all right last night, and Dan admitted to bribing her again. "We have a kind of arrangement. I give her chocolate cake and she does all her homework without fuss, then we watch TV or play a game or something."

Chloe bit back the urge to complain, but then considered another tactic. "Well, I certainly approve. Giving her what she wants is the perfect way to express your affection for the urchin. Who doesn't mind a bit of bribery here and there?"

"Yeah. Maybe I need to rethink my tactics. Anyway, we stopped by your place to pick up a book she'd left behind, but I guess you left early or something?"

"Actually, I was at the penthouse all night," Lucifer said, keeping his eyes on the road. "Which might be a regular thing now that Lucifer and I are properly dating. Or he might stay at my place if we've got Trixie."

"That's okay," Dan shrugged, taking a moment to consider. "I mean, I trust you to be responsible about it. And, you know, it's good that you're happy."

Lucifer glanced up in the mirror and caught Dan's eye. "We are. We're both very happy."

"Good," Dan repeated. "Hey. So I know you guys have um, reached a landmark or something, and I've been thinking about it and I guess it turns out I'm more okay with that than I thought I would be. But, I figure you probably want some extra time to work out what all of that means, and you know, have some new couple time, so I'm happy for Trixie to stay with me over the weekend or whatever if you want to… you know."

"What, shag?" Chloe grinned. She was starting to see why Lucifer teased him so much, it was kinda fun.

"Don't be an ass," Lucifer said, “he’s making a very kind offer.”

Chloe turned to look Dan up and down. Somewhere along the line, he'd turned a corner and was trying to put his life back together again after… everything. "Sorry, Detective. Daniel, that's very thoughtful of you, and we'd be most appreciative."

Dan narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You are being totally weird today, man."

"I think it's my new girlfriend's fault. She's done something peculiar to my brain."

"Yeah, that I can believe.” 

“Still, I can’t accept your offer without offering a favour in return. What would you like?” She was very careful not to look at him when he asked.

“I dunno. Maybe it’s time I started dating again."

"I might know one or two people who might find you palatable. Any preferences?"

"Um…"

"How about you come to LUX sometime," Lucifer suggested. "Lucifer can be your wingman and you can take your pick."

"You'd do that?" Dan asked, surprised.

"Apparently so," Chloe mused. "Turns out I'll do anything to keep the Detective and her kin happy."

“Actually…” he paused, as he considered. “There’s one thing you could do for me. A promise.”

“What kind of promise?”

“Never lie to Chloe.”

She felt her heart twist in her chest. It was the lies that ultimately ended their marriage, and he was using his blank cheque to try and keep her from that again. It was an easy promise to make on Lucifer’s behalf, especially as she knew it was one he’d keep anyway. “Daniel, I give you my word. I will never say anything untrue to Chloe or mislead her in any way.”

“Thanks.”

They bought tacos from a food truck and brought them back to work. Dan kept looking at Chloe, and so did Ella, and she did her best to clear her mind and not think sexy thoughts about Lucifer's hands, or his lips or…

The room was silent. Dan was shifting in his seat. Ella stood up and stepped towards her, but then turned to refill her coffee mug before she got too close.

"You know, Detective, we really ought to get going so we can pick up the book before the meeting," Chloe said quickly.

"Oh, crap, yeah, look at the time," Lucifer said. "Sorry guys, gotta run. We'll see you later, hopefully with good news."

"What went wrong?" Lucifer asked as the climbed into the car.

"You know when someone tells you not to think of an elephant and all you can think about then is an elephant?"

"I'm familiar with the concept."

"You're an elephant."

"Well, I suppose it's better than a goat." He was putting on his seatbelt when Chloe grabbed his face in both hands and kissed him deeply. He moaned against her mouth, and they fell apart gasping. "We may need to take a slightly longer stop at my place to get you calmed down."

"You mean…"

"Stop off for a quick bit of mutual satisfaction? Yes."

"Hmm. Yes please."

***

Lucifer straightened Chloe's suit afterwards, and combed her hair back into place.

She smiled smugly. "I'm not sure if that's made matters better or worse. I mean, I feel really good, but it's going to be tough not to think about it."

"You need to think of something boring or repulsive. Your ex, perhaps?"

She scoffed. "That could work."

"Daniel wasn't that bad was he?"

"No, not Dan. The other one. The one I almost married." She didn't even want to think his name.

"Oh, him. If it helps, I went to visit him while I was away. You'll be pleased to know he's suffering miserably."

"That's some consolation I suppose. Right, now that we've safely ruined the mood, shall we go?"

***

A burly man in a black suit showed them to a conference table in a nameless office and told them Mr. Gorman would be in shortly. Lucifer stood just behind Chloe's chair, carrying the book under one arm wrapped up in silk and brown paper. Not that they would likely need to use it as a bargaining chip, but there was no reason to raise suspicions before their target got there.

Carmen Grant took one step into the room and froze when he saw them. His lower lip quivered. "What do you want?"

Chloe grinned over steepled fingers. Lucifer had made her rehearse and given her specific lines to drop in. And her confidence was still soaring from… recent developments, so it was easy to slip into character. "That's no way to greet an old friend, Carmen," she chided. 

"I- I'm sorry. Hello, Mr. Morningstar."

"That's better. Hello. Now, as for what I want, the answer is simple. Information. You were very good at that last time we met, I do hope you'll continue to prove useful."

"Anything! Whatever you need to know."

She gestured to the chair opposite her. Carmen sat down, still clearly nervous. "A few months ago you held an auction. I need to know who was there, and a list of the items that were sold to whom."

He licked dry lips and twitched his fingers on the table. "That's a lot to ask. It's not that I'm unwilling to help, but I have to protect the interests of my clients or I'll be out of business."

"I was hoping that our history would be enough to persuade you, but it's a matter of some urgency and I'm willing to bargain. I've brought the book of prophecy, if that might sweeten the deal."

"One book… albeit a very rare one… isn't… well…"

He was stubborn, she'd give him that. And either very brave, or very stupid. Lucifer had told her what this man had seen.

She leaned towards him and caught his eye. "I see. So what is it you really desire?"

"I- I just want to see them again. Your wings. Just one more look. Nothing else can compare to such magnificent beauty."

Chloe glanced over her shoulder at Lucifer- no way was she agreeing with this without his permission. But he gave a small nod.

She glanced around the room. No obvious cameras that she could see. "Very well. We'll wait here. You bring us what we need, and I'll make the arrangements."

"Right. I'll be right back with the paperwork." He scampered off like he'd just been offered a date with a supermodel.

Once alone, Chloe turned to Lucifer. "Okay, so what do we do when he comes back?"

He perched on the table beside her. "He won't be expecting them straight away- as far as he knows, they're still detached. We could make another appointment, but I would love to see his face if you just popped them out suddenly."

She could see the appeal in that. "Okay, so how do I do that? Pop them out?"

"You just do. The same way you lift an arm or nod your head."

"Okay, but that's something humans learn when they're very small, by practising. I have no idea what or how to make wings happen."

"Well, there's a kind of…" he rolled his shoulders forward briskly.

"Right. Okay." She hunched, and he held up a hand.

"Woah-woah-woah! Stand up first. Make sure you've got space."

She stood behind the chair, waited for Lucifer to move out of the way and thought about when he unfurled in the balcony. Self-actualisation. She had to believe in her wings. She rolled her shoulders and was startled by a whoosh of displaced air. Her eyes went wide.

"Holy crap, I wasn't expecting that to work!"

"To be honest, neither was I. At least not the first time. Of course, the trick now, is can you put them away again? Otherwise we might be in a spot of bother."

"How?" she hissed, trying not to panic. She had wings. Enormous, brilliant, soft wings. She could feel them- sort of. Like they weren't exactly there. They were, bizarrely, pulling at the jacket of her suit, even though they seemed to have just sprouted through it without issue.

"Same thing, but in reverse. Just…" he demonstrated a sharp, backward movement with his shoulders. She tried it, but nothing happened. She fought down a rising sense of panic. Lucifer stepped up to her and placed his hands on her arms. "Detective, look at me. You can do this. I believe in you."

She took a deep breath to calm herself and tried again, and this time they vanished. She stumbled a little as her sense of balance suddenly changed. It wasn't that the wings were heavy- quite the opposite in fact- but they were an extra appendage and it was like one of her legs had suddenly vanished.

"Good, well done," Lucifer said soothingly. "Now, do you think you could practise a couple more times so you can do it without falling over and making me die of embarrassment?"

"Sure," she said, nodding. It was kind of fun, actually, and she quickly got the knack of popping them in and out. It did make her realise that attempting flight might not be such a good idea. Walk before you can run and all that.

She had resumed her position sitting at the table when Carmen returned. He handed her a file and a list. "The list is names and addresses given for all the guests at the auction. I can't promise all the addresses are correct, but it's the best I can do. The file has details of each item that was auctioned off, where it came from, who bought it and for how much. I'm afraid things have not gone quite so well for me since we last met, and these days I deal in quantity over quality. Feel free to look through and check that everything's in order."

Chloe flicked through the pages- fortunately there were pictures- and soon spotted the picture of the Janus statue. Both halves were there, slotted together back to back.

"Look, this is it!" She scanned through the details, and then unhooked the page from the binder and folded it up. "Well it seems we have what we need, so I suppose I should honour my end of the bargain. Are you ready?"

"Really, we're going now?"

"We don't need to go anywhere, I have them with me. I'll give you two minutes to look at them. _Are you ready?"_

His breath trembled, and he nodded enthusiastically. 

Chloe unfurled.


	6. Because of course you named my boobs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the final chapter- sorry it's a bit late.

"This is It," Chloe said again as soon as they were back in the street. "This address is in the same neighbourhood where we found the knife. Not the same street, but she would have gone through there on the way home."

"She?" Lucifer said. "Miss Lopez was right, the killer was a woman?"

"Looks like it. Elizabeth Harper. She bought the statue for twelve thousand dollars. Woman has expensive tastes."

"So we're thinking she and Joshua somehow touched the statue at the same time while they were at the auction?"

"If either of them said anything no one would have believed them. They must have talked about it. Somehow they slipped into each other's lives. That must have worked out better for Joshua than for Elizabeth. Why would she go along with it?"

"She must have been very frightened. Stuck in a stranger's body? It's peculiar enough for us, and we love each other. Can you imagine trying to stumble your way through someone else's life? Sounds like a scene from Hell."

Chloe had come to a stop and was smiling at him.

"What?" he asked. "Why are you grinning like that?"

"What you just said about us. I know it's true, but it's nice to hear you say it out loud."

"Yes, well, I've been wanting to say it since last night, but I thought it might be better the first time in my own voice."

They stared at each other fondly in the middle of the sidewalk as people rushed past them. Chloe just kept smiling.

"We're having another moment, here, aren't we?" he asked.

"Yes, Lucifer. This is definitely a moment." She took his hands and gently guided him closer so she could put a single, tender kiss on his lips. Then she sighed. "We should get back to work."

"Right," he said, and they carried on waking. "So if Joshua's moved up in life, why come back and get into a fight with Elizabeth? And more importantly, was it Joshua who was killed, or Elizabeth?"

"I guess we'll find out."

Chloe's phone rang. She was glad it hadn't gone off a few minutes earlier. Clearly things were improving for them timing-wise.

Lucifer glanced at the screen and put it on speaker. "Ella! Hi, what have you got for us?"

"You're gonna love this. Our killer was very sloppy, clearly a crime of passion because they weren't thinking straight. The knife has two sets of fingerprints. One matches Joshua, and the other matches an unknown set we pulled from that weird statue. You know, in between all the prints that Lucifer slapped into it. I'm seriously gonna buy that dude his own stack of gloves in his own size and tell him he can't come on scene until he puts them on. No glove, no love, am I right?"

"You should get him a variety of colours so he can match them to his pocket squares," Lucifer suggested. 

"Oooh, yes! I'm gonna see what I can find. How was your meeting?"

"Very good, actually. We have the address of the person who bought that statue. Or more accurately, that statue and its other half. It's some weird two-faced thing. The fact that the prints match up gives us enough reason to investigate her."

"Her? Called it! Also, tech managed to crack the laptop and Dan's going through it now. Looks promising. You might want to stop by and see what he's got before you go question her."

"Okay, good. We'll come right over."

***

Elizabeth Harper lived in a large house with a neatly kept lawn and a high end security system. Chloe always felt a certain amount of nerves involved in going to make an arrest- a buzz of adrenaline that kept her hyper aware of all the potential risks- but this time there was a lot more at stake and her heart was pounding. As she rang the doorbell, Lucifer brushed his fingers against hers.

"Remember last night," he said quietly, and the words conjured up images and feelings that made her breath catch.

Elizabeth opened the door and immediately smiled. "Hello?" She was an elegant middle aged woman, but her appearance was looking a little frazzled around the edges.

"Hello," Chloe said, holding onto a particular mental picture. "We're Lucifer and Detective Decker. We work in the police department. May we come in?"

Elizabeth grinned wider and battered her eyelashes coyly. "Of course." She stood aside and they went in. "May I ask what this is about?"

"You purchased a statue a while ago. Do you still have it?"

Her face grew cold. "I'll need you to be more specific. I have a collection of what I consider valuable art."

"You'll remember this one. The two-faced Janus. It might have been stolen- the man you bought it from doesn't have the best record. It would be most helpful if we could look at it."

Her eyes darted to the mirror over the mantlepiece. "You shouldn't go anywhere near that thing. It's dangerous."

"So you know what I'm talking about? And it's in your possession?"

She wrung her hands together and stammered. Chloe approached her. "It's all right. We know what happened, what he did to you. You wanted something, what was it?"

"He took my life! I was just trying to get it back!"

"Where's the statue, Elizabeth? I think things are going to get very difficult for you soon, but the more you cooperate with us, the better it will be for you."

She fidgeted a bit more, and then suddenly grew calm. "I'll go and get it."

Chloe nodded to Lucifer. "We'll come with you," he said.

Elizabeth led them into another room, and they both kept their hands firmly in their pockets as she took it out of a safe. "Here. You can take it." She held it out to Lucifer. 

The plan was obvious. Switch out and escape before she got arrested. It might have worked if they hadn't already touched the first one. 

"Why don't you put it down on the desk there?" Lucifer suggested, getting out a pair of evidence gloves and pulling them on before he bagged up the statue.

"You know, don't you?" Elizabeth said. "What it does?"

"I think we should talk back at the station," Chloe said. "And maybe you should have a think about what you want to put in the official report."

"What else do you know?"

"We have Joshua's laptop, and access to all your emails."

"Oh, damn." 

***

She gave them her unofficial statement on the way. Joshua had approached her before she left the auction, flirted with her, got her into a back room and asked to see the statue. He said he'd heard rumours about it and showed her how it came apart. She found herself in a different body and he'd run off with half before she realised what had happened. She had called him, tried to bargain with him, but he had insisted no one would believe her stories, and they just had to make the most of it. When she tried to come home, he'd called the police. So she'd looked for answers, and discovered she could reverse it with the other half of the Janus. Eventually she'd managed to lure him over, threatening to destroy his life by any means if he didn't meet. It had started well, but when he'd seen her half of the statue he'd panicked and they'd fought. He'd picked up the knife and she managed to touch the statue to his face as he got close enough to stab her. 

"So, really, it was suicide," she claimed.

Back at the station, they presented her with the evidence. Her fingerprints were at the crime scene as well as on the murder weapon. They had detailed ongoing correspondence between her and the victim, which showed the troubled nature of their relationship and provided motive.

Elizabeth nodded and pleaded self-defence. She felt threatened by his messages, and then he tried to attack her when she came to his home. She saw the knife and grabbed it in the heat of the moment, fearing for her own life.

Lucifer looked at the file, and then back up at her. "You know, it's almost plausible," he said thoughtfully. "I suppose, maybe, if you thought he was dead, you might have fled the scene in a panic. But he wasn't dead, was he? He was bleeding out, slowly. You pulled out the knife, stopped to hide the statue in the drawer, and then left him while he was still aware enough to call an ambulance. He must have pleaded with you, and yet you ignored his cries and offered him no aid. It takes a very cruel streak to do something like that. I don't think it matters who picked up the knife, you wanted him dead, and you made sure that's how it went. Am I right?"

She glared. "I'm not saying anything else without my lawyer."

***

Lucifer and Chloe snuck into the evidence room at the end of what felt like a very long day. They stood side by side, staring at the two statues. “What are we going to do with these afterwards?” Chloe asked. “It seems kinda dangerous to leave them lying around.”

“Well, Carmen Grant did a wonderful job of forging my wings. He should be able to arrange a copy of our friend Janus here, and we can swap them out when nobody’s looking. I know technically, that’s evidence tampering, but I’d rather know they were somewhere out of reach.”

“Excellent. I’m just gonna pretend I never heard you say that.” She blew out a deep breath, and pulled back the evidence bag. “So, are you ready to do this?”

“Almost. Hang on,” he said, and then grabbed both breasts firmly and closed his eyes with a sigh. “Goodbye Cagney. Goodbye Lacey."

Chloe smothered a laugh with her hand. "Because of course you named my boobs."

"Naturally. I've been dreaming of these two since I first saw your film. It's been quite the privilege to carry them for a while."

She pulled him in by the waist. "Well, I'm sure Cagney and Lacey will be more than happy if you want to visit with them from time to time."

He stretched up and kissed her, grasping her ass and pressing their bodies together. "I won't miss kissing myself though."

"Really? Cause you are kind of a narcissist."

He tilted his head to one side. "Yes, but I'm also in a constant battle with my own self-loathing, which complicates matters somewhat. Lucky for me I'm so pretty. And I do seem to have a tremendous backside," he mused.

"Yes, your backside is pretty much perfect, I have admired it on more than one occasion."

"You know, if you like it that much, you're quite welcome to an all-access pass."

"A pass to the Devil's ass," she laughed, and gathered him into her chest. Whatever else they'd been through, she was glad she had the chance to give him this- to let him feel safe and small and treasured. She felt rather than heard him sigh, a relaxed contentedness as he nuzzled against her. She pressed her lips to his hair. "I love you," she said softly. 

He took her hand and lifted it towards the statue. There was no fanfare, no dramatic flash of light or even a scent of magic, whatever magic smelled like. But now she was back in his arms, leaning on his chest, and breathing in the scent of him.

"I love you too," he whispered.

She was home.

*** 

The dress fit perfectly. 

Lucifer had sent her to get freshened up while he arranged for dinner to be brought up, and when she got out the shower she found the box laying open beside her other clothes. She found a hairbrush and an eyeliner in the bathroom cabinet and spent some time making sure she felt her best. 

She wasn't normally one for dresses, but Lucifer had excellent taste. At first she pulled her hair around her shoulders, trying to hide the bullet scar that the strapless neckline left exposed, but then she swept it back. The scar was a reminder of how it all began, and nothing to be ashamed about. She would display it with pride.

At least her neck wasn't completely bare. She still had the necklace. 

She looked at her sensible brown boots and decided that tonight she would go barefoot. The dress was long and split up one side, but full enough to walk comfortably in. 

Lucifer was at the piano when she came out through the bedroom, stopping on the lowest step. Whatever tune he was playing was silenced as looked up.

"Chloe," he breathed. 

She couldn't stop herself. She ran straight into his arms and kissed him. She felt his lips pull into a smile.

“You look perfect,” he sighed, touching her face delicately, fingers running down her throat to the necklace. “I hope you know how much it means that you’re wearing it.”

“I do. Because it means just as much to me. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here.”

“We both took the long way round. But you’re worth the wait.”

They kissed again, a bit more lingering this time, and then smiled at each other.

“Dinner is served,” Lucifer said, gesturing behind him to the candlelit table. 

“So I see. You think we can get through it without arguing or insulting each other this time?”

“I don’t know, did you bring any poison?”

She bowed her head and pressed her lips together.

“Sorry, that was meant to be a joke. Too soon?”

She waved it away. “No, it’s fine. I’m just, a little paranoid, is all.”

He took her hands. “That’s understandable. But I learned something last night. There are always going to be hurdles, it’s true, and I’ve still got issues I need to deal with, but one thing I know now is that we can get through it together. I know that I don’t have to be afraid of how I feel about you anymore. Because you love me. The real me, not just the man, not just the Devil, but all of me. And I love you.”

He lifted her chin, and kissed her, and it was everything that it needed to be. There were no barriers between them anymore, no excuses, no metaphors. They’d been inside each other’s skin, and it was hard to get closer than that.

Not that it would ever stop them from trying.


End file.
